"Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord" - Psalm 127:3.
The theme "Great Expectations and Gospel Realities" (subtitle of the blog) became the phrase, several years ago, that I would use for daily life when the great plans or hopes that I had for my day were not quite in line with the what the Lord has planned for me. What can I say...I've always had great expectations...lots of plans, lots of excitement and optimism, and therein, lots of room for the realities of life to fall way short of the pontifications in my mind.
But if we are all honest, this is a theme we all struggle with - what we hope for, what we long for, what we want so much to happen in life, doesn't always work out the way that we wanted it to. And in the words of Shakespere, "Aye, there's the rub." On the one hand it reveals our longing for heaven - the things of this world are not as they should be. On the other hand it brings us face to face with the earthly reality of Santification - that the daily events of this life are being used to ready the Christian for heaven. It's the moments in which life doesn't work out in the ways that we wanted or expected that we are thrust involuntarily into the best of God's plans for us - plans to grow us in "wisdom and in stature and in favor with God and man" (Luke 2:52) - plans to make us more godly, more fit for Heaven, more ready to worship Him.
34 Days (and counting) in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit at St. Dominic's Hospital was not even the smallest of thoughts in the corner of my mind as John and I anticipated the birth of our first little one. Great Expectations of a put together nursery with coordinating patterns and fabrics and painted furniture, of a clean house ready for baby to come home to, of cooking meals ahead to put in the freezer for post baby, of a cute sign for the hospital door...let's even be more realistic...of just having my bag packed and ready!...all fell by the wayside to God's plans: one little bundle of joy arriving nine weeks early, weighing in at a perfect 3lb 13oz. The Gospel realities that suddenly emerged in our lives - we're not in control, we have to trust God with our child, we have to wait on God's timing to grow our boy and get to take him home - have given me more perspective and wisdom and growth than I ever would have gained from a to-do list completely done and a full-term baby that I could immediately take home three days after delivery.
You always hear that babies change your lives. How much this has been true of our first four and a half weeks as parents...to the point that I can say that 34 days in the NICU has changed me. How much I anticipted parenting to be me imparting lessons, Truths, and wisdom to my children. How much I have learned in 34 short days in the NICU that God has equally built into parenthood, the Gospel reality that we too will grow...lots. Our roots will have to go deeper, our branches will have to become more pliable, we will have to walk by faith more...dare I say that we as parents might even have more to learn than our little ones. I wasn't expecting God's best for us to be the NICU. My great expectations were hoping for the picture-perfect Gerber baby that is painted in every diaper commercial and parenting magazine. But though there have been more tears and challenges that have come with a 9-week preemie, there have been twice as many joys, twice as much seeing the Lord at work, and twice as much growth in me. And so, I have decided to blog and share it all with you in hopes that you too will find encouragment in the hard - even miserably difficult - Gospel realities that pop up when our great expectations fall short. So I hope you will stick around as we share our stories and adventures of Griffin's first weeks...starting with how unexpected his arrival really was.
